Even though Selena Gomez, 26, put on a brave face when news broke that Justin Bieber, 24, and Hailey Baldwin, 21, had gotten married in September, she was reportedly falling apart behind the scenes. “It was a bitter pill to swallow,” an insider told Us Weekly. “Justin was her first love and they shared something special. Of course she was jealous.” As previously reported, Selena was hospitalized twice at the end of September when her white blood cell count dropped to a dangerously low level (a result of her 2017 kidney transplant). During that second hospitalisation, she reportedly suffered an “emotional breakdown,” and has been in a treatment facility on the east coast ever since.

“She had cut herself off and stopped answering friends,” the mag’s source added. “Her friends know that when she disappears and goes into hiding…something is wrong.” Selena herself admitted that she’d had a “weird couple of months” during an Instagram live on Sept. 22, before she was hospitalized. After that, she took a break from social media, and admitted that “negative comments” has begun to take a toll on her. “As much as I am grateful for the voice social media gives each of us, I am equally grateful to be able to step back and live my life present to the moment I have been given,” she explained.

As Meida reported, Justin and Hailey’s marriage “thew Selena for a loop,” and she had difficulties wrapping her head around the idea. She has been radio silent during her stint in treatment, the length of which is “open-ended,” according to Us Weekly.

Meanwhile, Justin has not publicly commented on his ex’s troubles, but a recent report claimed that he’s still “not over” her. “He was extremely upset over what happened to Selena,” People reported. “He feels like she is part of his life and he wants her to be happy and healthy.”